On this Holy Saturday, I am resting and sitting in the tension between the death of Christ and the coming Resurrection that we remember on Easter Sunday. As I read Mark, John, Luke and Matthew’s accounts of the betrayal and trial and death of our Saviour I find myself wondering if I would have stayed by Jesus’ side like the women did, like Mary Magdalene and the mother of Jesus. Or would I have fled, like the disciples, whose good intentions weren’t enough to stay.
I think my honest answer is I would flee, because that is my usual response. I flee, I run, I quit. But I am learning to stay. I am learning to press in even when it hurts, even when it’s hard, and even when it costs me. My hope is that I would learn to love my Saviour extravagantly like the woman who poured out expensive perfume on the feet of Jesus. To love and serve him with everything I have. That’s who I want to be. And this morning as I spent time reading and doing yoga, I am learning that I am stronger than I thought I was. I may want to stop but I am learning to push through, to breathe deeply and push through and worship him with all of me.