f is for focus

what’s the first thing you type into your browser?

mine is the letter f.

f for facebook. without thinking. hoping. waiting. longing for connectedness. fearing that without it, and without cell phone service that i will be left alone.

such dramatic and unrealistic fears.

a fast had been mentioned a while back.

i refused it…considering it was my only means of connection and communication to the world. wifi has become my drug. my addiction. i go a little bit frantic and nervous when i’m away from wifi for too long. 6 months without a cell phone. holy cow that’s a long time. and yet…i’ve survived. i’ve found workarounds. thank the Lord for wifi, iMessage, FaceTime, skype, and free apps to text. if you don’t have an iphone…it’s been extremely difficult for me to stay in touch…and i’m sorry. i’m a horrible communicator. i’m not good at staying in touch. i get distracted and only see what’s in front of me and around me.

community. i love the connectedness that the online world allows me. to interact with friends from around the globe. to share deep thoughts with my women’s book study. to share pics with family and friends. i seriously love it. i geeking love it. i tech-geek-social-media-adore it.

drawbacks – the frantic. the need to know. the need to be in the know. feelings of insecurity or waiting for likes or bummed out when there are no comments, but only likes. and likes sometimes suck.

starting today on the 21st and for 21 days i will attempt to fast from social media and the frantic false sense of security and false sense of esteem that it provides.
f is for focus

i have deleted the facebook app from my phone, but kept the messenger app because it’s still a primary means of communication for me, but it’s not as crazy-inducing as regular ‘ol facebook. i shall miss you all and i shall miss sharing in your life for the next 3 weeks, but you are always welcome to share it with me. and i need to refocus my energy into the people around me in my living community and church community. and be able to journal and pray and write to God without coming up with a new blog idea or topic first. distracted to the max. this is an extremely critical time in my life as i reach a new phase of my journey, as i accept and embrace and receive wilingly. as the reluctance fades. as the obedience quickens. (slowly…) i must keep priorities in order and as i thought about the length of time it takes to break a habit 21 came to mind. and so it must be. i’ll be praying over the rest of my boundaries/specifics tonight and tomorrow and working on sharing on a need to know basis. inner circle deep. i’ve gone so far to get to where i am that i don’t want to go backwards and i don’t want to miss each new moment ahead. Image

it’s the least i can do. it’s hardly a difficult sacrifice in the scheme of things. but in my life. it is one. i anticipate some words will appear here. some images. but my goal is to be open to God and His spirit as he guides me and do as he asks. so i thank you for understanding and don’t panic, i’ll be back.


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