In this place and time of transition, in betweens, stuck, and standstill that I find myself in…I am also short on things tying me down to the place I am. Which makes it all that much easier to long for a place that I want to return to. To stay, to live, to work there. Frustrated with not getting any closer (seemingly) to my goals, not even the one step that makes the most sense. All I get is no, no, no. Doors staying shut. Cracking open, only to shut again in my face. It makes my head spin, because not only am I unable to move forward, I don’t know how. I don’t know how to move.
It’s enough to make me crazy.
I probably am.
But the deepest thought occured to me sometime between sleeping and waking…
What if the longings are reminders
And not just reminders
That my focus
That my view
is too narrow
too self focused.
My soul clings to the dust, give me life according to your Word!
Put false ways far from me and graciously teach me your law!
Your testimonies are my delight they are my counselors.
…enlarge my heart
Give me understanding …
Lead me in the path of your commandments for I delight in it
Incline my heart to your testimonies and not to selfish gain!
Turn my eyes from looking at worthless things and give me life in your ways.
Remember your word to your servant in which you have made me hope.
This is my comfort in affliction that your promise gives me life.
Your statutes have been my songs in the house of my sojourning.
The Lord is my portion.
A few verses from Psalm 119:25-57 as I attempt to let the Word guide me, pour over truth, heal me, and bring comfort, perspective and direction.