Ramblings of the birthday girl.

A day or two behind in the blog fest…but I just started working and it’s my birthday. AND our Internet is lamesauce. WildBlue, I really hate you. (The past few posts have all been written on my phone and posted by email)

Came home tonight (with the darkness of daylight savings…yet another reason i prefer the summer…) and crashed on the couch. Bummed around and watched prime time tv, and now I’m ready to sleep.

Birthdays are full of mixed emotions for me. I blame my performer/high E and F personality and selfishness. Is it selfishness to like your bday and want to celebrate? Is it selfish to want one day to be different the than ordinary every day? Maybe.

It’s the yucky part about being single…you don’t have a spouse to surprise you and give you lovely gifts. Is it my fault that gifts and words and time are my love language?

I think more than anything I value those who truly take time to get to know me, the real me, and what makes me tick, and what makes me laugh, what makes me giggle and what touches my heart.

Some people say those facebook birthdays don’t count, but they count to me. Especially when I see who has written on my wall (so far) People I went to school with (and there aren’t very many of those) and the blessing of having a connection even after 10 years or more. People I haven’t even seen in 10 years. But they still care enough. I don’t know why this means something to me…to some it is meaningless, but to me a thoughtful wall post from an old friend is much better than a card from a random church who sends it to mk’s just because. Grandma’s carefully picked out card counts so much more.

I might even get a card from my sister this year…maybe. But I won’t hold my breath.

Please don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful for all the little things. But there are certain things that are missing.

So, today I will happily skip to starbucks for my free birthday drink and indulge in a venti (because I can) marble mocha macchiato and work for a few hours and then take off and have lunch at everyones favorite Thai place with mom and sister…and then I don’t know what my afternoon will look like, I kinda wish I had something fun I’m there…but at 8pm it’s party time!

More to come. I’ll try and do some picture posts throughout the day.

Does anyone have additional birthday insight? How do we balance this and celebrate the gift of life and breath we’ve been given without going overboard? Where is the line?

<3
lorijo

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