introspective part one.

i’m not eloquent. i don’t write because people enjoy reading what i write. i write because it’s therapeutic. it’s how i think, how i process what’s going on internally, and in my relationships and feelings and everything. I also find sitting at a piano and doodling or watercolor therapeutic, although piano and writing tend to be the things that i do the most. at the same time, i like it when those i love read what i’m thinking. i hope it helps them understand me.

i look back on life and the past few years, and wonder why so much has gone wrong, at least according to the world. oh, I don’t blame the economy, not one bit.  My God is bigger than that. i’m not “successful” and as an unsuccessful single girl, living like a 17 year old, and the one thing that I want to do with my life, at least as a vocation seems to be on hold.

so I wait.

I wait, because as unpopular as it is, it is what i’m supposed to do, at the moment.  this has been reinforced in several different ways:

I posted the song As Long As It Takes by Meredith Andrews recently, the chorus goes like this:

I won’t speak until You speak
I won’t move until You move me
I won’t sing, sing over me
I will wait as long as it takes

I’ve also been listening to this song, sung by Kim Walker-Smith of Jesus Culture especially this weekend:
Where you go I go, what you say I say, What you pray I pray.

and so that is what I have done. prayed lots of Scripture. prayed the Lord’s prayer.

Let your kingdom come, your will be done.

more to come.


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