Music Monday: Even When I’m at My Darkest

is it possible that the Lord can use me at my worst?
even when I don’t feel like I have everything together?
even when I don’t feel okay?
even when I didn’t practice everyday?
even when I didn’t pray today?
even when I’m in the middle of a muddy emotional-relational-place of healing process that leaves me feeling all sorts of emotions-feelings-hurts-and very raw.

is it possible that when I admit all these things God can still use me?
is it possible that God would rather use the broken pieces then the picture perfect version of me?
is it possible that God loves me even at my worst? even the puffy eyes, snot-tears, makeup running down my face-me? even the single-girl-blues-me? even the in-the-middle-of-healing-process me?
is it possible that God can do more with messy me than “perfect” me?

{I started writing these thoughts a few days ago, and was mostly just thinking about them. I just downloaded the new Ascend the Hill album and this song stuck out in a big way.}

Even When I’m At My Darkest by Ascend the Hill from their new album, O Ransomed Son

Even When I’m At My Darkest (by Ascend the Hill) lyrics

Before I took a breath you knew me
You called me by my name
Even when I’m at my darkest
You know me all the same

Every hair on my head you’ve numbered
And every thought within
Even when I cannot see you
I feel you closer than my skin

In my darkest dreams they find me
My failures haunt me in the night
Broken image of creation
Twisting, turning, hiding from the light

Then I heard a voice so clear
Like deep calling deep and I could hear
I felt your spirit drawing near
Breathing life in me; destroying every fear

My spirit woke with a hopeful plea
Each fighting breath resonating in me
You broke the chains to set me free
You gave me a song to lift my eyes and sing

Lift up your head
Lift your head, ’cause help has come
Lift up your heart
Lift your heart, His will be done
Lift up your hands
Lift your hands and praise the one
Lift up your song
Lift your song O Ransomed Son

Before I took a breath you knew me
You called me by my name
Even when I’m at my darkest
You know me all the same

Download their new album here:
http://www.comeandlive.com/CLD/AscendTheHill-Son/

I Need A Father by Starfield

Hold me somebody
Don’t let me be alone
Love me, stay with me
I am dying to be known
My heart cries out

I need a Father
Whose love will never fail me
A friend like no other
Whose trusted arms will hold me
I need a Father

I am wounded
But I tuck the pain away
Free me, heal me
I don’t want to be afraid
My heart cries out

Here’s my heart
Be tender, please
Let me know your love for me
Here’s my heart
I’m on my knees
I will trust
‘Cause I believe

You are my Father
Your love will never fail me
A friend like no other
Your trusted arms will hold me
You are my Father

a living sacrifice

I don’t think wordpress will show this directly in the post…but if you click the link or the photo it’s a 30 second slide show of pictures that I put words over to share a message that is very personal.

Watch here (includes audio)

beauty in the eye of…the Father

Ladies, women, girls, this is for you.

I came across some beautiful art, videos, and spoken word, and other poetry when my mom linked to this beautiful video, at this beautiful new site called:

The Beheld.

Watch this video:

Love this poem, also on this site:

BY JESSICA JENTINK

makes me hate
everything I am
everything I am not
everything I have
everything I have not

makes me want
more than I can afford
more than I need
more than I should want
more than anyone should want

makes me feel
like I should have skipped lunch
like I should have skipped lunch for the past 3 months
like I should fit into their jeans
like I should fit into their designer girl

makes me think
about the kids who look for crumbs
about the kids who are crying
about the kids who are dying
about the shirt I forgot I had

makes me angry
at America for calling me ugly
at my family for not understanding
at myself for being an idiot
at my God for conviction

beauty is value
says the lie
value is beauty
says the truth

the tug-of-war for a heart
her heart

well,
she’s tired of manipulation
she’s tired of fighting it
she’s tired of buying the look
she’s tired of buying the girl
she’s supposed to be

she’s the American girl

so shut up, American mannequin
you don’t work
you don’t diet
you don’t study for finals
you don’t have a boyfriend
or an atrium
or know anything at all
about what it means
to be a girl
because you are fake
fake like their lies

you are not real
pimples are real
wrinkles are real
adipose tissue is real
and it’s okay
if you know it’s okay
to say goodbye to beautiful

to the boys:
find a new beautiful to want
one that doesn’t cost so much
and one that a girl can be
without trying
because she already is that beautiful
underneath her skin

and be happy
that ABC
never gave Miss America
a Mr. America
to make you feel

the way we do

reblogged; taken from beheld.wordpress.com and http://thebeheld.wordpress.com/2010/11/21/the-mall/
rights belong to the author, I do not take credit for this in any way! I’m just reposting to share and spread the love!  Check out the site to see lots more poems and writings. Beautiful stuff,

Ladies, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!!

The Father’s Love Letter

{image of Bible with pages folded together into a heart found via google, please let me know if it is yours and i can link or take it down}

Dear Child,

You may not know me, but I know everything about you.
Psalm 139:1

I know when you sit down and when you rise up.
Psalm 139:2

I am familiar with all your ways.
Psalm 139:3

Even the very hairs on your head are numbered.
Matthew 10:29-31

For you were made in my image.
Genesis 1:27

In me you live and move and have your being.
Acts 17:28

For you are my offspring.
Acts 17:28

I knew you even before you were conceived.
Jeremiah 1:4-5

I chose you when I planned creation.
Ephesians 1:11-12

You were not a mistake, for all your days are written in my book.
Psalm 139:15-16

I determined the exact time of your birth and where you would live.
Acts 17:26

You are fearfully and wonderfully made.
Psalm 139:14

I knit you together in your mother’s womb.
Psalm 139:13

And brought you forth on the day you were born.
Psalm 71:6

I have been misrepresented by those who don’t know me.
John 8:41-44

I am not distant and angry, but am the complete expression of love.
1 John 4:16

And it is my desire to lavish my love on you.
1 John 3:1

Simply because you are my child and I am your Father.
1 John 3:1

I offer you more than your earthly father ever could.
Matthew 7:11

For I am the perfect father.
Matthew 5:48

Every good gift that you receive comes from my hand.
James 1:17

For I am your provider and I meet all your needs.
Matthew 6:31-33

My plan for your future has always been filled with hope.
Jeremiah 29:11

Because I love you with an everlasting love.
Jeremiah 31:3

My thoughts toward you are countless as the sand on the seashore.
Psalms 139:17-18

And I rejoice over you with singing.
Zephaniah 3:17

I will never stop doing good to you.
Jeremiah 32:40

For you are my treasured possession.
Exodus 19:5

I desire to establish you with all my heart and all my soul.
Jeremiah 32:41

And I want to show you great and marvelous things.
Jeremiah 33:3

If you seek me with all your heart, you will find me.
Deuteronomy 4:29

Delight in me and I will give you the desires of your heart.
Psalm 37:4

For it is I who gave you those desires.
Philippians 2:13

I am able to do more for you than you could possibly imagine.
Ephesians 3:20

For I am your greatest encourager.
2 Thessalonians 2:16-17

I am also the Father who comforts you in all your troubles.
2 Corinthians 1:3-4

When you are brokenhearted, I am close to you.
Psalm 34:18

As a shepherd carries a lamb, I have carried you close to my heart.
Isaiah 40:11

One day I will wipe away every tear from your eyes.
Revelation 21:3-4

And I’ll take away all the pain you have suffered on this earth.
Revelation 21:3-4

I am your Father, and I love you even as I love my son, Jesus.
John 17:23

For in Jesus, my love for you is revealed.
John 17:26

He is the exact representation of my being.
Hebrews 1:3

He came to demonstrate that I am for you, not against you.
Romans 8:31

And to tell you that I am not counting your sins.
2 Corinthians 5:18-19

Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled.
2 Corinthians 5:18-19

His death was the ultimate expression of my love for you.
1 John 4:10

I gave up everything I loved that I might gain your love.
Romans 8:31-32

If you receive the gift of my son Jesus, you receive me.
1 John 2:23

And nothing will ever separate you from my love again.
Romans 8:38-39

Come home and I’ll throw the biggest party heaven has ever seen.
Luke 15:7

I have always been Father, and will always be Father.
Ephesians 3:14-15

My question is… Will you be my child?
John 1:12-13

I am waiting for you.
Luke 15:11-32

Love, Your Dad
Almighty God

Father’s Love Letter used by permission Father Heart Communications
© 1999-2010 http://www.FathersLoveLetter.com/

{re-blogging from wonderfully made blog}

do you know who you are?

You are fearfully and wonderfully made.

really beautiful video from the wonderfully made blog

for the single ladies

I found this here: and had to share it with you…all you single ladies, may you be encouraged:
(with Thanks to Shellie Warren, author)

My Daughter,

You are right where you are supposed to be. So many people have theories and insights on how couples are to come together and the truth is that many miss it by interpreting what they want rather than what I choose. A man pursuing…a girl refusing, these are not necessarily the optimal conditions for mate selection. Adam did not “pursue” the Woman, nor did she spend her time creating ways to make it challenging for him to do so. Just like one’s purpose or date of birth and death, it is I who determines the “who, when, and where” of authentic and spirit-led matrimony and intimacy. It is the responsibility of both parties to follow as I, and I only lead.

You are not waiting on some man to “get his act together” or “see you for who you really are”, and no matter how it may appear to you in the physical realm, in the spiritual sense, “he” is right on schedule; my schedule. You are not to be listening to what man says, no matter what form the voice may reveal itself (media, tradition, statistics, naysayers, etc.). Remember, I decided when it was time for Adam to receive the miracle of female assistance and so if you have an issue with physical time, don’t take that up with anyone other than me; even then, know that I have your best interest at heart. Far too many of my daughters are consuming themselves with fear and anxiety about things that are really none of their concern. My ways are not your ways and until I unite you with the one you are purposed to benefit, his whereabouts and activities are not to be a priority to you. If you have not been joined to him yet, it’s simply because it’s not the right moment. He is not ready and neither are you. There are finishing touches that must be placed on you both and no matter how you may feel or what you might think, I am a God of order. I will not be pressured to move outside of my plan.

I know it must be hard. Flesh never likes to submit to my will. But please let me continue to mold you. Before you ever existed, you were hand-selected for someone and that has not changed. As the Creator, I am excited about my handiwork. Don’t go looking for answers to questions you are not able to conceptualize or present in a way that will intimidate me to react or respond. As I did with your parents, let me have the pleasure of presenting you as a gift to your mate. Ask your mother and father if they will ever forget the first time they saw your face. I want “him” to experience a similar thrill. If you want to channel out your energies, get excited about how excited I am about you; about how blessed I know he will be to have you!

Again, don’t concern yourself about the time. I am timeless. Concern yourself instead with remaining in my hands so that I can perfect you to be all that he needs— so that when it’s the right moment, there will be no fear, no hesitation, no question that you are indeed the one that he is meant to live out the rest of his days on the earth with. Far too many women are not praised on their wedding day by their husbands in the way I would’ve liked because they did not allow me the opportunity to complete them to be what was required, and the man was not discerning enough to know the true purpose that his companion was meant to serve in his life.

I want more for you. Love me enough to let me give it to you. Just as you are to be a blessing to him, he is to be provider and protector for you; he is to bless you as well in ways even your prayers have yet to articulate, but in my infinite wisdom, I know you deserve.

Remember, above all else that, like faith, marriage is a spiritual union. This is the time to remove yourself from your senses, from what the physical is telling you and tap into your spirit. This is when you can please me most by standing and believing that I am true to my Word…even when you don’t see, feel or hear evidence of its manifestation. The Spirit always moves at what you all call “light years” ahead of the flesh. It takes it some time to catch up. (Hebrews 11:6) Be patient. (I Corinthians 13:4)

Stay in my will and I will show you the way—a way that leads to love, bliss and happiness. A place where you will feel naked and not ashamed…until death parts you. A place where your future husband will restfully await you.

I love you. Be still and know. Really know. I do.

Your Heavenly Father
©Shellie R. Warren/2008